Khan's Day Off
by Kelaiah
Summary: Shere Khan has decided to relax and take the day off. But his day off turns out to be anything but relaxful when a Mary Sue turns up and Don Karnage decides to kidnap Khan for ransom. And who's going to rescue dear old Khan? Certainly not Baloo!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Talespin, Shere Khan, or Baloo. However, there is one character that I_ do_ own, but I personally find it highly unfortunate that I do.

**Warning:** This is my first Talespin fanfic, so please have patience. If characters act a little OOC, that is intentional. But if they act _way_ OOC, then please politely point that out to me and I shall see what I can do.

* * *

Shere Khan sat behind his desk, facing the window which overlooked the city -_ his_ city - of Cape Suzette. 

The tiger relaxed into his chair, a luxury he often denied himself for the sake of appearing regal (and always being taller than everyone else). But today, he decided a bit of slouching wouldn't hurt. He couldn't remember the last time he slouched. It felt great. But it didn't feel as great as the knowledge of the emmense success of his business. . . .

It had practically been an overnight boom, so to speak, but that sort of thing was possible if you lived in fanfiction.

And at this moment, Shere Khan _did_ live in fanfiction.

When he first heard how much his business was now worth, Khan actually had to sit down and ask his yes-man to repeat himself. The tiger was even certain his eyes widened. Of course, he handled himself better than his yes-man did; the smaller tiger had looked like he was ready to pass out, not to mention there was a geyser of drool cascading down his groggly-eyed face.

But the yes-man couldn't help himself, and Khan couldn't find it in his own self to blame the man.

Shere Khan's business was now worth nine hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion dollars.

($ 900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00)

The amount was staggering, and Khan had an unpleasant memory that he had slumped in shock into his chair when he heard it the second time.

Now, however, the tall tiger was allowing himself to slump, taking in a very long breath, a smile curling its way about his muzzle.

He was beginning to wish he hadn't given his employees the day off, but the new amount of his business had rattled him more than anything that he had given them a vacation. Sure, he was always into big numbers and everything, but even _he_ hadn't thought of money _that_ high! It seemed like was only yesterday that he was telling that fat bear - what was his name? Baloo, that was it - that Khan Industries was worth 3.7 billion dollars.

Now that sum seemed like mere, well, _rubbish_ compared to the new sum.

_Fanfiction_, thought Khan,_ is a wonderful thing_.

Indeed it was. He wasn't so certain at first when they started doing fanfiction if he was going to like it or not, but he was certain _now._ He liked fanfiction. A lot.

He especially liked the author who had thought of making his business worth that much.

_Why, with this much money I can go into an early retirement._

But then he would have to stop working, and that didn't suit him at _all._ Khan liked to work. Plus, there was always the chance that there was going to be even more ploys to have his money taken away from him. Khan would have to keep on working to keep unworthy hands away - _far_ away - from his beloved cash.

However, he wouldn't have to worry about that for now. As though the freakishly huge amount that his business was now worth wasn't enough, Khan had gotten news that Mr. Sultan of Miniversal Coroperation, Khan Industries' biggest threat, had had a severe heart-attack when he heard of Khan's wealth which landed him in the hospital. The fat tiger was to be in there for quite some time, so Khan didn't have to worry about them for now.

But what _to do_ now?

Khan glanced at his rolodex watch and saw that it was still 8:00 am. Odd. He had glanced at his watch earlier and it said the same thing. Had he been thinking that fast? Well, no matter. He better think of something to do while his employees did whatever it was they were doing on their day off.

For a brief second a thought of doing some work came into his mind, but the tiger impatiently waved it away. He couldn't do any work now, otherwise it would defeat the purpose of having a day off.

It was too early to go out for a drink, and the thought of going up to his penthouse and reading a book didn't suit very well with him, for he liked to do those things _after_ he had finished working.

The tiger heaved a rough sigh. It had been a very long time since he had a whole day to relax; he had practically forgotten how to use those days.

Suddenly the doors opened.

Khan immediately sat up; no _way_ was he going to be caught slouching on purpose!

Heavy, timid footsteps made their way across his office.

Khan remained as he was, sitting in his chair facing the window, readying himself to whirl around to make whoever it was to blanch in fear in his mighty presence.

A familar voice cut through the room's silence.

"Uh, h-hello?"

Cued by the sound, Shere Khan whirled around to see none other than Baloo, the star of the TV show _Talespin._

"Ah, Baloo," the tiger purred, placing his large fingertips together as he set his elbows on his desk, giving the bear a cordial smile. "What brings you hear on such a fine summer morning?"

The big, gray bear looked rather taken aback by the tiger's words, and said, "D-didn't you ask me to come here?"

Now it was Khan's turn to be taken aback, though he did not show it. "What do you mean, Mr. Baloo? I have no recollection of making an appointment with you."

"But- but," stammered the bear, pulling out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket. "Didn't you send me this letter?"

Shere Khan reached out and took the proffered item, took a glance at it, and looked back up at Baloo, who was still standing.

"Baloo, this paper is pink," Khan stated flatly. He paused, then sniffed at the paper, frowning. "And scented with a very flowery and fruity perfume. And the handwriting is very obviously feminine. Do you actually think that I send out letters like this?"

"Well," Baloo said, rubbing the back of his head. "I figured you had your secretary do it for you."

Shere Khan arched an eyebrow. "Do you really think that Mrs. Snarly dots her i's with little hearts?" he asked, gesturing at the pink, scented note.

"Eh, no, I- guess I should've thought of that," the pilot admitted, looking a bit shame-faced.

Khan took another look at the letter. Whoever had wrote the letter, they had the most atrocious spelling and grammar. "Well, I have no idea who could've sent this to you, or why they did."

"Gee, I don't know either, Mr. Khan," said Baloo, spreading his arms a bit. "Well, I suppose I'll get out of here and stop wasting your time. . . ." the bear had turned to go.

"You weren't wasting my time, this is actually my day off," Khan called as he folded the letter up in disgust, putting it away in one of his desk drawers. He'd have Buzz try to figure out the letter's source when the scientist got back.

"Really?" Baloo said, turning back around to face the tiger. "Wull that's weird. This is my day off too."

"Indeed?" replied Khan, raising his eyebrows a bit, a small smile crossing his lips. "Well, then, why you stay here and chat a bit? I'm at a bit of a loss as what to do with my time. It's been so long since I've had a day off."

Baloo gave a rolling laugh as he sat down across from Khan. "I hear ya there, Khanny! It's been so long since Rebecca allowed me a day off I nearly forgot how to have one!"

* * *

For what seemed like a considerable amount of time, both bear and tiger didn't say a word. 

Khan folded his hands on his desk and smiled politely at his guest.

Baloo twiddled his fingers on the armrests of his chair.

Silence.

Finally Baloo decided to make small talk.

"So, how's business goin'?"

Khan gave a broad smile, a gesture which almost shocked Baloo. "My business is now worth nine hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion dollars."

Baloo gave the loudest gasp of his life, his eyes went as wide as the wheels on the Seaduck, and fell backwards out of his chair.

Shere Khan gave a rumbling chuckle. "Yes, it gave me a turn when I first found out."

Baloo didn't reply. He just laid there on the floor not moving.

Khan gave a slight frown as he leaned forward a bit to get a better view of the bear's prostrate form. "Baloo?"

The bear gave a twitch and a shudder - Khan didn't know if the bear had died or if he was simply moving.

It became apparent when Baloo sat up that he had simply moved.

"Nine . . . nine . . . nine. . . ." gasped Baloo, his eyes still wide, unable to get the words out.

Khan gave another chuckle, absurdly pleased with the bear's reaction.

Baloo sat still for awhile, breathing in deep gulps of air, when he finally managed to gasp out, _"Does that kind of money even exist?!"_

Shere Khan gave a small laugh. "Only in fanfiction. And this _is_ fanfiction, Baloo."

"Oh, boy," Baloo mumbled as he got back into his seat. "Now I really wish you were in my debt or something."

Khan's smile faded. "I beg your pardon?"

"Hey, I could use some extra cash, you know. And it wouldn't be that difficult. All you would need to do is do something dangerous - not the kind of _really _dangerous, but just dangerous enough so that I could save your life."

Khan stared at the bear, his mouth hanging slightly open. Finally he managed to get out, "Baloo, do you remember the _last_ time you saved my life?"

Baloo thought for a moment. "You mean in the episode _Bullethead Baloo_?"

"No," Khan said, irritated. "I mean _Save the Tiger._"

"Oh _that_ one," the bear said, nodding. "Well of course I remember, but you don't have to worry, it wouldn't work out that way again! I wouldn't get greedy like I did that time. I'd only come maybe like once every week or so instead of every day, and I'd only ask for real important stuff, like repairs for my plane and gas, or if I run short on cash to tip Loulie or to get Molly a birthday present-"

"No, there, you see?" interrupted Khan. "You're getting greedy again."

"Wha- but- how was I getting greedy?!" sputtered Baloo.

"Tips and birthday presents," Khan said, his large paws giving a little wave. "Next you'll be wanting-"

_"Sheesh,_ Khan," said Baloo. "It's just a few bucks off the ba-zillion dollars you've got! Ain't you got any charatible spirit?" Before the tiger could answer, Baloo spoke again. "No, of course not. You're a villian in the show, aren't you?"

Khan's mouth dropped open even more. "I am _not!_ Didn't you say in _Citizen Khan_ that you were _friends_ with me?"

"Ahaaa," Baloo, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. "Is that a little need for friendship I detect?"

Khan's eyes blazed with yellow fire. "I refuse to allow this fic to be where I am secretly in need of . . . _friendship,"_ he spat out the last word, not not much because he looked down upon it, but more because he had horrible ideas of what fanfiction writers would do to him (and his business) if they had any idea that he wanted friends.

"Oh come on, Khannie. You want to be friends with me, don't deny it. You know you like me," Baloo said in a slightly singsong voice.

Khan scowled.

"You know you like meeeeeeee." Baloo's voice was even more singsong now.

Khan snorted contemptuously.

"I know that you know you like me, and you know that I know that you know you like me, and I know that you know-"

"Alright already!" Shere Khan snapped. "Honestly, I really don't give Miss Conningham enough credit - having to live with you is a great taxation of sanity!"

"Well excuse me, stripes!" shot back Baloo, crossing his arms.

_"Don't_-call-me-_'stripes'!"_ Khan snarled through clenched teeth. His claws sank into his desk, his signature sign of when he was in a bad mood.

"Looks like you're in a bad mood," Baloo commented. "You're clawin' at your desk."

"Never mind what my claws are doing," Khan growled. He was actually more mad with himself now than Baloo - he rarely lost his temper and now here was, losing it!

"I've always wanted to ask," said Baloo, looking at the scratched up top of Khan's desk. "How much does it cost to repair this thing if you keep on raking at it like that?"

"That is none of your business," Khan snapped. Honestly, why was he being so moody all of the sudden? . . . . of course. Fanfiction. That did that to a person, made them act completely out of character (or OOC, as Khan heard it abbreviated before).

Baloo heaved a rough sigh. "Truce?" he asked, holding out his hand.

Khan looked down at Baloo's fat proffered paw for a moment, then he too gave a sigh and nodded, sheathing his claws.

"Truce," he said, taking Baloo's hand.

After they shook hands, they sat back a bit in their chairs.

"So how 'bout you an' me head on down for a drink at Louie's?" Baloo asked, grinning at the pleasant thought.

"Yes, that sounds nice," Khan agreed, smiling. "It was a nice place, Louie's," the tiger commented as he checked his rolodex watch. Goodness, how long had they been arguing? It must be-

_"It's only 8:02?!"_ Shere Khan cried, staring down at his watch. "Impossible! We've been talking for a least an hour!"

Baloo checked his own watch. "Mm, no, my watch says 8:02 too." He paused, looking past Khan out the window. "Come to think of it, the sun doesn't look like its moved much, does it?"

Khan turned and looked out the window, and saw that Baloo was right. It did look like the sun hadn't moved.

"Well, what are we going to do now?" Khan said. Already his brain deduced that it was only by the powers of fanfiction that such a feat could happen, and that there was little he could about it. "It's still too early to go out for drinks."

"Well, we don't _have_ to have drinks, y'know," said Baloo. "We can have some ice cream or something."

Khan shook his head. "I'd rather not, I don't want to ruin my figure." He paused, eyeing Baloo's considerable paunch. "Hm, maybe you should start doing the same."

Well, that little comment would've began _another_ argument, but just then-

**_BAM!_**

Baloo whirled and and Khan's gaze snapped to the door - and both were almost blinded by the radiant light that filled the entire room.

Now, usually, whenever the doors to Shere Khan's office opened, there almost always was a very white light, but this time . . . this time was almost like looking at the sun. Even Khan lifted his arms to ward off the blazing brightness.

Khan suddenly heard Baloo gasp, and chanced a peak at the bear to see that the light had finally dimmed. He lowered his arms and saw that Baloo was standing up and had taken off his red pilot's cap, wringing it in his hands.

Khan blinked at the bear's actions, then turned and looked upon the newcomer who was making their way across Khan's giganitc office.

Khan noticed first of all that the newcomer was a vixen.

Second, he noticed that she was young, slender, shapely, and beautiful.

Extremely beautiful.

In fact, the words _most beautiful creature I've ever seen im my entire life_ passed into Khan's mind, something which made him blink again.

The young vixen had vivid ruby-red fur all over her body of course, but growing from the top of her head was an abundant cascading waterfall of thick flowing glossy midnight black tresses that bounced and shined in a most ethereal sort of way, as though she were doing an aid for a special type of shampoo.

But her eyes . . . words could not do them justice - but this author was going to try to describe them anyway. They were huge, round, and framed in the longest, darkest, curviest lashes. Their color was spectacular: a clear shimmering emerald with flecks of gold and silver and sapphire. Those two orb-like eyes glittered like two orb-like pools of the clearest green water that an enchanted male would drown in.

Khan suddenly found himself standing up, feeling rather taken aback (though he didn't know why), and found himself asking, "What do you want, my dear?"

_That didn't sound right,_ part of Khan's brain thought.

The lovely young vixen walked up to Khan's desk. . . .

. . . . took a deep breath, as though she were about to say something very important. . . .

. . . . and said, "My, Rebecca was right. It _is_ a long walk across your office."

And with that, the beautiful young vixen fainted.

Baloo suddenly panicked, kneeling hurriedly down and propping the young vixen's beautiful head in his lap (or at least he _tried _to; his gut keep on getting in the way), waving his hat in her face, trying to revive her.

Khan, just as he did in the episode _On a Wing and a Bear,_ produced a glass of water out of nowhere and walked around his desk towards the vixen. He noticed that she looked very thin and frail, like the smallest wind would blow her away. He wondered if walking around with all that hair on her head made it difficult for her.

The vixen suddenly woke up, mumbling in a soft, sweeter-than-honey voice, "Where am I?"

Baloo snatched the cup from Khan's out-stretched hand (earning him a dangerous look from the tiger), gently handing it to the vixen, softly explaining to her, "It's alright, you're gonna be fine. You're in Khan Industries. I'm Baloo, and this is Shere Khan. What's your name?"

Khan looked at Baloo. There was something about the way the bear was acting that Khan didn't quite like. And this girl, he suddenly had an uneasy feeling about her, but he didn't know why. The tiger looked hard at the vixen, trying to figure out why he would suddenly get a feeling of forboding from a girl he just met.

Suddenly he caught a scent of her perfume: an overly flowery, fruity smell . . . just like the one the pink paper was scented with. . . .

The vixen suddenly stated her name:

"My name is Mareah Susanita."

Khan's eyes went wide. _Oh no,_ he thought. _Not that. Anything but that!_

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** I was listening to the theme music of Talespin as I wrote some of this. Hope you all enjoyed this. And if any of you are wondering where Karnage is, don't worry, he'll be in the next chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Talespin, Don Karnage, or any of the pirates. I do, however, own Mareah Susanita, unfortunately. (sigh)

* * *

It was an unusually beautiful day on Pirate Island, because usually it was dark and cold and gray in order to strike fear into the hearts of any captives the pirates _somehow_ (notice the emphasis on the word "somehow") managed to take. 

Don Karnage, who was, in fact, a wolf (he really is a wolf, all you people who don't know what his species is, the guy who animated him said that he was a wolf), was at this moment standing before his golden-framed full-length mirror.

"Truly majestic, no?" he said in his no-one-knows-what-type-it-possibly-is accent. The pirate-wolf began to make dashing poses in front of the mirror that would make all of his fangirls screech and swoon with glee.

Karnage was about to go on about himself, pumping his own ego, when suddenly the door crashed open, making the wolf-pirate give one of his high-pitched squeals and nearly knock over his mirror.

_"Aah!"_ cried Karnage when he saw his mirror begin to topple to the floor. He lunged forward and just barely managed to save the mirror from crashing, and the possiblity of having seven years of bad luck.

Straightening up, the wolf turned furious dark eyes on the intruder, which turned out to be none other than Mad Dag, who was already speaking in his whining tone that made the author wonder just _how_ anyone can sound like they are whining _all _the time.

"Cap'n! Cap'n!" whined Mad Dog, waving a newspaper about ("The pirates get the newsaper?" thought the author. "Well, they did in _From Here to Machinery_; boy, I'd hate to be their paper boy.").

"What is it?!" shouted Karnage, struggling to pull his sword out from its sheath, but for some odd reason it seemed to be stuck. "What do you want, you estupid oaf?! Running in here, shouting about like a great fog horn, you imbecilic -"

"Look!" whined Mad Dog, shoving the newspaper into Karnage's face.

"Mmrf! Mrrf!" said Karnage, _before_ he ripped the paper away and held it at a reasonable distance. "What, what?" the wolf growled impatiently, his dark eyes scanning the headlines: "Overnight Boom at Khan Industries."

Karnage blinked. "Just what is that supposed to mean, eh?" he demanded, holding the paper at arm's length.

"I thought you would know," whined Mad Dog.

"Oh, _shut up!"_ snapped Karnage, flipping to the page that held the most information.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmm," was all the air-wolf said as his eyes scanned the paper.

"Well? What does it say?" whined Mad Dog.

"It seems as though our old friend Senor Khan has ended up with a very big amount of money," mused Karnage.

"'Old friend'?" Mad Dog whined. "I thought you _hated_ Khan."

_"It is just an expression!"_ screamed Karnage. "Do you not know what an expression is, you estupido- doooooh!"

Infuriated, Karnage returned to the paper.

"So how much did he get?" Mad Dog whined ("Honestly," thought the author. "How can _anyone_ sound like they're whining all the time?").

"It's going to say, it's going to say," Karnage responded, continuing to read. "It's going to say, it's going to-" The wolf broke off with a huge gasp. His eyes widened and he dropped the paper, falling backwards against Mad Dog.

"What? What?" whined Mad Dog, supporting his captain.

"Heh . . . heh . . . nine . . . nine . . . nine . . ." Karnage couldn't say it.

"Nine dollars? That's all he gets?" whined Mad Dog, though there was a trace of annoyance in his voice.

"No, you incompetent-!" Karnage pushed himself away from Mad Dog, seething.

_"Nine hundred thousand million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion dollars!"_ the air-wolf snarled, his voice sounding rather choked.

Mad Dog gave a very loud, very croaky gasp, and promptly fell over backwards.

Karnage ignored him. "Soooooooooooo," he mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It seems as though it es time for a bit of . . . _pirating,_ yesno?"

_

* * *

_

**A/N:** And just what is going to be Karnage's diobolical plan?! Find out in the next chapter!

**Khan:** Which you have not written yet.

**Kel:** . . . _Sooooooooooooo?_

**Khan:** (shakes head & sighs)


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** UGH, this hasn't been updated in AGES, ugh, I am so sorry for those of you who've been waiting for this. Once again, I apologize, and hopefully this will be (somewhat) worth the wait.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Talespin. Only Mareah Susanita. :P

* * *

"I have been newly employed by Mr. Khan to help find a mystic blue jewel."

"A mystic... blue jewel..." Khan repeated slowly, knowing full well that he had not employed this girl.

"Yes," the exceedingly beautiful vixen went on, daintily handing the cup back to Baloo, who was still goggling and twisting his hat in his fat hands. "I may be very young, only a mere eighteen years old, but I am highly educated and highly trained and extremely talented. I ran track in high school, and I'm quite experienced in just about everything, so I'm more than qualified to be your employee, Mr. Khan. In fact, I am your best employee, even though I haven't done anything for you just yet, but don't worry, I'll prove myself. With flying colors. Plus I also have expert knowledge of the jewel's whereabouts and-"

"Oh look, Don Karnage," interrupted Shere Khan, pointing at the door.

_"WHERE?"_ Mareah's head snapped around, wide eyes going wider.

"He just ran away, maybe your track experience could-"

But the lovely vixen was gone, leaving some random papers flying.

Baloo suddenly came out of his stupor, shaking his head, the gears inside his brain rattling. "Whoa! Wh-what was that? What happened? I feel like Becky slammed me upside the head with a sledgehammer."

"It seems, Baloo," sighed Khan. "That our little fanfic just had a bit of a run-in with a Mary Sue. But not to worry, she's gone now, and hopefully won't show up again. Hopefully."

Baloo's eyes widened with horror. "No, not one of those, not a Mary Sue! ...Er, what's a Mary Sue?"

"You idiot," snapped Shere Khan. "Don't you know _anything?"_

"Well sure, I know all about flying and planes and-"

"No, I mean about _fanfiction."_

"Well, I know a little about that, but I'm a little rusty where Mary Sues are concerned."

"They are hideously flat, one-dimensional characters that are often inserted by authors who think they can either 'improve' the series or they're just looking for glory to be heaped on them by their favorite cartoon characters, namely us."

Baloo blinked. Then he shuddered.

"But don't worry, I think we'll be able to avoid her for the rest of the fic, so long as we aren't here if she comes back."

"Well great then!" chirped Baloo, brightening up at once. "We can go down to Louie's for that ice cream!"

"Splendid idea," smiled Khan - only the intercom on the tiger's desk emitted the sound of a familiar voice.

"Greetings and salutations, Senor Khan type person."

Blinking, the tiger hit the intercom, replying, "Karnage? How did you get on this line? Its only connected to my ships!"

"Through the powers of fanfiction, my good man," the wolf's smug voice replied. "Now then, if you would be so good as to remain in your tower where I will be kidnapping you and ransoming you-"

"I'm afraid I have a previous engagement," Shere Khan interrupted.

"YOU CAN NOT HAVE A 'PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT' WHEN I AM ABOUT TO KIDNAP YOU! ...Ahem. Now then, be a good rich man, and I will be coming to capture you in about... five minutes. Felicitations. Heh heh, boy, I am one very clever, and very attractive, guy!"

And with that, the voice was gone.

For a moment, silence reigned in the room. Then Khan pressed the intercom's button again.

"Wait a minute, Karnage. How do you expect to kidnap me when you're always shot at before entering Cape Suzette?"

"You forget," the wolf's voice taunted. "You gave your employees the day off!"

Shere Khan blinked. That... had been unexpected.

"Well then, why doesn't he just bring the Iron Vulture around so he can attack unheeded?" said Baloo.

Or at least, he _would_ have said that, if Khan hadn't suddenly covered his mouth with a large paw. So the big gray bear only ended up saying this:

"Well then, why doesn't he just bring the Iron-hhrrmmff!"

Khan shot Baloo a dark look before turning back to the intercom. "I still don't see how that's possible, Mr. Karnage."

"Dooh, this is FANFICTION, man! Get with the program!"

Shere Khan finally hung up. Sighing, he turned back to Baloo. "Well then, what are we waiting for? Shall we head down to Louie's?"

"Aren't you worried that Karnage might cause trouble if he flies into your office?" the bear asked.

The tiger shrugged. "I don't see why not; he wouldn't be able to find anything."

Baloo was about to ask why, but then figured he didn't really care. So instead he said, gesturing grandly towards the door, "Well, then, Khanny, after you."

The tiger smiled, and repeated the gesture, stating, "After _you."_

This probably would've gone on for awhile - if Mareah Susanita hadn't walked back in just now.

"Grraggh!" cried Khan as the bright light overcame him as the extraordinarily gorgeous vixen stepped over the threshold.

Baloo once again resorted to goggling and holding his hat in both hands.

"I looked everywhere, but couldn't find him!" the Sue-vixen cried sadly. "And it is very crucial that I find him, because... because... I have had a DREAM about Don Karnage, that he really is a GOOD man, and that he wishes for a life of peace and serenity, but he cannot come to that until... until..."

"Until your goodness shows him the light?" Shere Khan interrupted, disgusted.

The vixen threw him a nasty look. "Don't be cynical, Mr. Khan! Just because you've never had a true love!"

The tiger was shocked at such outright rudeness, although he didn't show it aside from an ever so slight widening of the eyes and raising of the eyebrows. And things probably would've gotten a little bit ugly afterwards...

...had not Don Karnage himself come crashing through the humongous office window, swinging on a rope.

Now, if one recalls the original episodes, they would remember that Baloo couldn't break through Khan's window by himself; he needed a large helicopter to do that. So how could the smaller Don Karnage possibly break through what Baloo could not?

"BY THE POWERS OF FANFICTION!" the pirate-wolf howled (whether to answer the author's question or just because he wanted to look cool was anybody's guess).

Glass flew everywhere upon Karnage's arrival, causing everyone else to duck in cover: Baloo jumped forward to sheild Mareah, while Khan hunched over, placing his paws over his head.

Karnage landed on Khan's desk, just behind the tall tiger. The wolf, with incredible speed, drew his sword and, with his free paw, reached down to yank Khan back up, placing his paw over the tiger's mouth and his sword at the tiger's neck.

Khan froze, not daring to move a muscle.

"Do not move or I will slice you!" Don Karnage proclaimed loudly, grinning wildly.

_I was already not moving,_ Khan's brain retorted.

"YOU!"

All eyes turned towards the latest speaker: Mareah.

The vixen's emerald eyes were shining like, well, emeralds as she gazed up at Don Karnage. Her dainty, feminine paws clasped themselves over her heart as she said, "Oh... it is you! From my dreams!"

Unlike Baloo, Don Karnage knew very well what a Mary Sue was.

"N-no, no," the pirate-wolf whimpered, stepping backwards across the desk - and dragging an awkwardly struggling Khan with him. "Not that! ANYTHING BUT THAT! **STAY AWAY!"**

"I know what lies in your heart!" Mareah cried, coming forwards with open arms.

_**"STAY AWAY!" **_Karnage roared, pointing his sword at the Mary Sue.

"I know that you're afraid of what is in your heart, but you've got to trust me if you ever want to be really and truly happy!"

_**"NNNOOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOO!"**_

And with that, the wolf did something only possible in fanfiction: he sheathed his sword without harming himself or Khan, turned and made a running leap towards the open window, and grabbed the rope that had been dangling out there the whole time.

Next thing Khan knew, he was thousands of feet in the air, forced to wrap his arms around Don Karnage, who still had his hand firmly planted over the tiger's mouth, while his other hand hung onto the rope, which was attached to one of the pirate's fighter planes, which was now flying out of Cape Suzette and out towards the sea.

Khan could faintly hear the Sue's final words in this chapter: "Wait! No, come back! I can SAVE you!"

_Some day-off this is turning out to be..._


End file.
